Abysmal

Just lonely, not alone

It creeps in every hallway of your home
following you silently down the stairs,
into every room you set foot into.
It never leaves you, not for a moment,
never failing to fall in the silences set by the offset of your gait
the subtle shuffling that fills the empty space between your footfalls and your heartbeats
It haunts the spaces of your brain once reserved for sanity but
in the recent months following your collapse into madness,
have become Home to little more than spirits of a past you wish you could outrun.

It's the ghost of the life you left behind
the bitter haunt of better days
(of better days)
and it won’t stop
(it won’t stop)

You can’t be certain,
but it feels like you’ve been in this place for months,
maybe even years since you were first admitted.
As time has gone on, you’ve begun to notice…
strange things.
You can no longer sleep
you can’t look at light because everything is blinding
Every voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard full of blasphemous words
black mammouths trample in the white corridor
crashing around while the doctors immobilize and sedate you
ghosts in the walls trying to drag you in
Each day gets worse and worse
worse and worse

This is the cold river
in which you fall into unexpectedly
and everything shifts from black and white suddenly
only to feel one thing:

Shock

you cannot accept what has happended
you cannot accept what has happended
your perception of the events is distorted
almost unreal

vast emptiness
voices in my head

you don't know what's happended
you don't remember what's happended
you are the hollow patient
in an empty clinic that you call home
numbers on your arm

oh, sweet nurse
tell me again

tell me again, that's all in my head
It's all in my head
all in the mindset