Omnistructure

I can't wait to hear stories through storms
My throat gets choked up
And I miss everything that once was
Feels like watching a cliff be worn out by the ocean over a thousand years
Spiraling cycles of cynical thoughts
I know you feel better when you're by yourself
Free from the weight of my poor mental health
But you shouldn't have built a house in the middle of my chest

I remember vividly
Nothing speaks to you and yet
Your voice is what a distant memory hears
When it's about to be forgotten

Unable to think for yourself
All you do is replicate someone else
And so begins the process of a plague
None will control
Trauma dump
Emotional blackmail
Domestic walls, raised miles high
No doors or windows
Constant abuse morphed into uneven structures
Layers upon layers of dead ends
Belittling every time I tried a little bit harder
Shifting blame and twisting truth
Always making absolutely certain everybody in the room knows
That the victim has to be you
And burn everything down to prove you could
Leave me inside a house made of wood

I can't help the fact you hate yourself
And felt that you should take it all out on me
I don't hope you're doing better

They say
You should just give up
Admit enough is enough
You'll never have what you've dreamed of
Get by, put it away inside

An half-naked girl smiles at you
While she pass you a cigarette in the bathroom stall
Oh please God, I can't take another fucking funeral
Coughing black tar in the sink, I'm your scapegoat
Background sirens ringing in my ears
A thousand eyes open wide on the ceiling
Art is supposed to comfort the disturbed
And disturb the comforted

Growing pains
I consist of hollow veins
The fuzz vibrates my heartstrings as it brings me to tears
I've been disassociating to that memory ever since
Not depression, nor mental illness
Not struggle, nor happiness
Void, just void

I sold my soul
For broken dreams

Nothing in this world
Is more ugly
Than the ego